Christmas Songs – New!

Turducken
Stalker Santa

TURDUCKEN

Turducken, turducken, my beautiful turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken?
It might have been Rudolph
Maybe Santa Clause
Who put the turd in my ucken, turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken

We were all gathered around the table
With our napkins tucked under our chins
I tried to cry out but was unable
I couldn’t believe what I’d seen

Turducken, turducken, my beautiful turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken?
It might have been Rudolph
Maybe Santa Clause
Who put the turd in my ucken, turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken

The candlelight glowed ‘cross the table
The crystal was shiny and bright
Our dinner was no longer edible
I couldn’t believe what I’d seen

Turducken, turducken, my beautiful turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken?
It might have been Rudolph
Maybe Santa Clause
Who put the turd in my ucken, turducken
Who put the turd in my ucken?

DANGEROUS ENDEAVOR

I headed on down into
No man’s land
Just south of Hermosillo
I had fifty grand
In the back of my boots
And a pistol down in my waistband

Out in the desert
Where the cold wind blows
Ain’t no one to tell the story
Of what went down
‘fore the sun came up
And the moon all big and shiny

Chorus:
It was a dangerous endeavor
It was a dangerous endeavor

I left Mexico
And everything behind
And I ran while I still could
Headin’ for the border
With a change of my name
In the Texas Piney Woods

I settled in a town
With an ear to the ground
Where no one knows my name
Sometimes I wake in a cold, cold sweat
With a dream of them on my trail

Chorus

It’s been a few years
Since I crossed the border
With a hell-hound on my trail
I met a nice man
Gonna settle down
Gonna listen to the night birds wail

And I’m never going back
Down south of the border
And I’m never gonna tell him why
Like a rattlesnake buzzin’
In the heat of the day
It’s just better to let ‘em lie

Chorus

HOLLOW VICTORY

It’s a hollow victory
Down the hallway to hell
One you have to walk
On your own

It’s an empty hallway
Built on pain and misery
One they always said
would come around

When the candles have burned down
And the champagne is gone
Who will be the one
To stick around

Words you might have said
Too proud to say
Now you’re lying silent
In your grave

Your footprints on the backs
Of all those in your way
And the battered wrecks
Of those you left behind

IF YOU JUST HAD A MIRROR

If you just had a mirror
You’d never do what you do
You’d never cause the sorrow
You’d never do that to you
If you just had a mirror
You’d see the damage you’ve done
To all the ones you broke and shattered
If you just had a mirror

If you just had a mirror
You’d see your face as I do
With all the lines of anger
And pieces scattered behind you
If you just had a mirror
You’d see me fading away
You’d see the past turn into the future
If you just had a mirror

If I just had a mirror
I’d see I no longer care
I’d see the door close behind me
I’d see the road in my eyes
If I just had a mirror
I’d see the clock on the wall
I’d see the time go back to zero
If I just had a mirror

I’M WAITING FOR A MIRACLE

I’m waiting for a miracle
I’m waiting for time
I’m waiting for someone, somewhere
To turn the lights on
On this dark planet
In these dark ages
I’m waiting for a miracle, ooh ooh
I’m waiting for a miracle

I’m waiting for humanity
To bring out the best in me
And everyone of us
To hold hands in harmony
And to live in peace
And sweet empathy
I’m waiting for a miracle, ooh ooh
I’m waiting for a miracle

         Chorus:

In this world of plenty
We have all we need
The only thing in our way
Is you and me

I’m waiting for everyone
To turn their lights on
Like Diogenes
In search of honest
Inside of you and me
And all humanity
I’m waiting for a miracle, ooh ooh
I’m waiting for a miracle

        Chorus

LET’S PUT THE DIRTY BACK IN DANCIN’

It’s been too long
Since that gleam in your eye
Shined it’s little light my way
That old crooked smile
I haven’t seen for awhile
Let’s go out
And put the dirty back in dancin’

I’ll wear that little dress
You used to love
And put on my red cowboy boots
And that tight black tee shirt
Still looks good on you
Let’s go out
and put the dirty back in dancing

I filled up the piggy bank
With old pocket change
And I think that we’ve got enough
Any way our credits
Still good at the bar
Let’s go out
And put the dirty back in dancin’

That old juke joint
Down on river road
Has the coldest beer in the county
There’s sawdust on the floor
And a game of shuffleboard
Let’s go out
and put the dirty back in dancin’

Chorus:
There’s a full moon tonight
Everything’s all right
Let’s go out
and put the dirty back in dancing

SAD CORNERS OF HER EYES

I saw you
Standing there
Right next to him
Without a care
You looked so happy
Smile on your face
Sad corners of your eyes
Gave you away

His arm around you
One around his wife
She looked so confident
You looked so scared
Those old photographs
Never lie
Sad corners of your eyes
Gave you away

An old photograph
of Marilyn Monroe
With JFK
And Jackie too
She looked so fragile
Holding his arm
Sad corners of her eyes
Gave her away

        Chorus:
Too much sorrow
In her brief time here
More tragedy
than she could bear
Her bright smile
Lit up the world
But sad corners of her eyes
Gave her away

I’m a page without words
A sky without stars
A voice without tenderness
A heart that’s bare

My heart is crying
There is no one like you
But it’s too late
To ever see you again
But still my eyes
Are open every morning
Searching for you
Day after day

I’m searching in the river
In the depths of my being
In the passing of life
But I don’t see you again
I’m so alone each night
Remembering your face
But it’s too late
Too ever see you again

But still my soul
Won’t leave my body
Searching for you
Day after day

I know nothing about love
All I’ve known is pain
But I know something about you
You’re gentle as the rain

Reaching for your warmth in the night
Is all that I will ever need
For I will be
For all eternity
Your garden in the sun, oh
Your garden in the sun

I have been like a moonscape
Hard and cold as ice
All my love on the dark side
And I have paid a price

Now my moon is turning round your sun
My heart has melted in your gaze
And I will be
For all eternity
Your garden in the sun, oh
Your garden in the sun

I have been like a fortress
Walls you cannot climb
Fired my cannons in the wilderness
To silence my own mind

All my guards have fallen from their posts
All the walls have tumbled down
And I will be for all eternity
Your garden in the sun, oh
Your garden in the sun

Fire and flood
Storms in the night
Troubled times like a hurricane
But I will be
For all eternity
Your garden in the sun, oh
Your garden in the sun

Jesus fired the first round
A Christmas day surprise
He always aimed to kill
And he watched the blood run dry
Many a man had tried his hand
And fallen to his will
It was always for the money
And never for the love
Guns and money
Drowning in the blood of Jesus
Drowning in the blood of Jesus

The Virgin De Guadalupe
he wore around his neck
Couldn’t save him from the crossfire
That rained upon the land
They laid him on a hardwood floor
With a bullet to the brain
And one more through the Virgin
To show their disdain
Guns and money

Drowning in the blood of Jesus
Drowning in the blood of Jesus

The last time that I saw him
He had a pistol by the bed
With one in the chamber
And a nightmare in his head
He prayed to the Virgin Mary
But he prayed to no avail
‘Cuz it was always for the money
And never for the love
Guns and money

Drowning in the blood of Jesus
Drowning in the blood of Jesus

The sons and the daughters
With a legacy of scars
Haunt your streets and alleys
In your dirty little war
Do you really believe the saints you wear
Can be bought and sold in blood
‘Cuz it’s always for the money
And never for the love
Guns and money
Drowning in the blood of Jesus
Drowning in the blood of Jesus

The rockets red glare
Fireworks bursting in the air
Oooh independence day

Freedom so precious
So hard won for us all
Oooh independence day

Rising from the ashes
Reaching for the sky
Oooh independence day

Ch
Independence day
Like a diamond from the coal
Independence day
Washed up on the shore
Independence day
Never looking back
On the ashes left behind
Independence day

Your hand slipped through mine
Like water from the dam
Ooh, independence day

The last time
That I saw you
You had another woman in your eyes
Oooh independence day

We waltz round the room
Like dancers in a barroom
Swinging and swaying
And twirling on high
You’re saying one thing
Your eyes say another
Your body’s a language
That’s easily denied

Silence speaks louder than words
And I heard nothing from you
But I felt it coming on like a slow moving train
The ground moving under my feet
And silence speaks louder than words

The first time I saw you
Your eyes danced around me
This way and that way
A tango for two
Two steps forward
And one step backwards
You glide round the dance floor
You follow and withdraw

When the players stop playing
And the dancers are leaving’
The bartender calls out
It’s closing time
Will you find your footing
Or waltz off with another
Leaving me there
In a danse macabre

Stale wine and roses
All that remain of a dream
That waltzed through my heart
In the springtime
And left on the morning train

Time is an enemy
That strikes in the night
Leaving you old and grey
Love is a potion
That blindfolds the eyes
To the sorrow and pain

Stale wine and roses
All that remain of a dream
That walted through my heart
In the springtime
And left on the morning train

Now it’s coffee in the morning
And whiskey at night
Memories are all that remain
Of a time when the roses
Were fresh on the vine
Now the thorns are all that remain

Stale wine and roses
All that remain of a dream
That waltzed through my heart
In the springtime
And left on the morning train

Send me red roses
Flowers and perfume
All of your love
And kisses too
Send me the moon and
The stars up above
All of these things, my love
But you can’t fool an old fool

Through all of the years
I loved you so well
Where it all will end
Only time will tell
I gave you my heart, dear
You threw it away
Now it’s my turn to say, to you
You can’t fool an old fool

Carlos came from Neive
Just southwest of Bogota
The sun shone on the mountain
Like pride before a fall
The family business flourished
But Carlos wanted more
Than the fast armored cars
Or the gold the others wore
He sought to find his peace of mind
And freedom like the wind
He stared for hours into the fire
And wondered who would win
He worked the labs in the underground
‘til he bought a set of wings
Landed it in the city of angels
Early in the spring
We dressed him like a gringo
And sent him into town
Hid him in the mountains
To see the deal go down
But freedom Carlos couln’t buy
He soon found he’d had enough
Of guns and cheap hotel rooms
Then the harder stuff
Carlos flew to Tennessee
His lover by his side
Searchin for a farmhouse
A safer place to hide

Alvarro came from Neive
Just southwest of Bogota
The sun shone on the mountains
Like pride before a fall
His brothers all were murdered
His unborn child a casualty
His lover left behind there
In the hills of Tennessee
His eyes had turned to hardened steel
His clothes hung loose and ragged
His mind now wandered freely
Down paths no one could travel
When I asked him how it all came down
How this had come to be
He stared and said
“an open mouth invites bad company”

Last Saturday night I went out on the town
With a little honey that I caught
We were sneaking out the back door when he fell out in the lot
Don’t you hate it when your date gets shot
Oh, don’t you hate it when your date gets shot

I took my baby home in the middle of the night
We were getting pretty heavy and hot
I thought it was a cherry bomb it hit him like a rock
Don’t you hate it when your date gets shot
Oh, don’t you hate it when your date gets shot

Chorus
Hate it when your date gets shot
Don’t you hate it when your date gets shot
It may seem funny but really it’s not
Don’t you hate it when your date gets shot
Oh, don’t you hate it when your date gets shot

I thought I’d look around in a better part of town
And I found a rich man with a yacht
We were about to set sail when it all went to pot
Don’t you hate it when your date gets shot
Oh, don’t you hate it when your date gets shot

I found a new man with a big piece of land
And a little yeller dog named spot
A stray ricochet up and took ‘em both away
Don’t you hate it when they both get shot
Oh don’t you hate it when they both get shot.

I was born in Del Rio
Just outside of Mexico
I never dreamed
I’d ever leave there
Then I met you passing through
And I had to go

‘cause I’d be lonely
I would be blue
If I was in Texas
without you
I would go crazy
What would I do
I’d rather miss Texas
Than you

I could live
In California
Make my home
In Tennessee
But if you died and went to heaven
That’s just where
I’d want to be

Leaving my Texas was
Almost more
Than my heart could bear
It wasn’t easy
But I made my choice
And there’s one thing
I know for sure
I would be lonely
I would be blue
If I was in Texas
Without you
I would go crazy
What would I do
I’d rather miss Texas
Than you
Ooh, I’d rather miss Texas
Than you

Merle drove a pickup truck
Had a hat and boots and such
Now basically, he was just a regular guy
He had a ranch down south a ways
But every evenin you could hear him play
That upright bass
To the sound of a Texas band

Ain’t nothing like an upright bass
At the end of a hard working day
To set a man a rockin on his heels
Old Merle used to slap them strings
That band used to really swing
Every evening
After all the cows were in

Merle had a wife and kids
They helped him with everything he did
They did the ranch work
When he was ill
Merle passed away last year
There’s still a sound that’ll thrill your ears
Them slapping strings in a gentle evenin breeze

In the quiet of the morning
With a lonely depot warning
San Antonio Express
Is moving out in number nine

It’s not the first time or the last time
We’ll be riding down this line
On this path we lead together
Each one going our own way

But with your storybook songs
And your guitar strumming time
And my fiddle bow
Riding you along
It’s just the tender smile you give me
In the early morning hours
When I’m asking you for one more ticket
Down the line

With your guitar you named Sarah
And my fiddle I call Sam
The marriage of these two
Is certainly more than ours has been
But it’s not the silence that’s between us
Or the life that holds us close
It’s a feeling that’s inside me
Like the words that you once said
You can follow me right to the sun
And I’ll never understand
I don’t want you
But I love you anyway
It’s just the tender smile you give me
In the early morning hours
When I’m asking you for one more ticket
Down the line